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There's no more.
Sunday, January 31, 2010 8:47 PM Days are passing by quickly and there goes our daily routines revolving back again. Life's like a circle. It keeps playing round and round to where it used to be. Those happiness, laughters and smiles, it came by only for awhile and then went away leaving us in darkness. It brought me to tears when thinking of those times when everything used to be so perfect and complete. I was hoping that everything might last longer this time but fate has proved me wrong. Everything went down the drain when it was the time where i badly need it all the most. Everything was so complete when families used to be so close and clinged together, when friends used to be all equal and being there for one another despite all the quarrels and when you used to be there with me throughout every single nightmares and fantasies. Now, everything changed. It all changed out of expectation. Yes, this is what you call life, ups and downs. But sadly, i still can't get the hang of all these. I still can't. Infact, i'm still trying to hide all the shits and pain that i'd feel i shan't trouble anyone with. I have got so many words and feelings that i can't express it verbally just like that. Everytime i would want to, i simply can't. Why does everything have to be temporary? Why can't happiness last? And why can't people stay? There will be no more daily texts from you like you always did. There will be no more midnight calls from you like you used to eventhough you were tired. There will be no more warm hugs from you like you used to embrace me with everytime we met. There will be no more smiles, laugthers and jokes that you used to make up with just to cheer me up. There will be no more pictures and photos from you like how we used to bluetooth and exchange together. There will be no more birthday wishes from you like how you used to wish me exactly on midnight with a kiss. There will be no more shoulders to cry whenever i need someone the most and to lean on whenever im sleepy in the bus. There will be no more care and concern from you like how you used to pour me with advices when im need of a guidance. There will be no more craps and shits like how we used to do at late midnights till you're sleepy that you were blabbering. There will be no more everything that we used to do together and no one could ever replace them all. I miss it all and i miss you. I know that i'm still in this dilemma. I tried moving on, but why can't i still? I apologised as i know you might have moved on. So let me just keep all these pains and fears within myself. I understand why you had to go but i'm still asking myself why did you had to go? Why the temporary-ness? I could never treat you as someone bad in my life when sometimes i tried to. I can't still stop thinking why must all these happen now. Why? Can i have all the answers soon? I have to still keep on pretending as that's how my life has been playing towards you for your own good. Worry about me no more as i'm just simply a friend now. I know you're still facing tons of problems and that you seemed lost. Keep trying and step forward alright? I'll forever pray for you, dear friend. : '(
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