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withoutyouhere-shasha.blogspot.com
getting kinda close, almost love



There's no more.
Sunday, January 31, 2010 8:47 PM

Days are passing by quickly and there goes our daily routines revolving back again. Life's like a circle. It keeps playing round and round to where it used to be. Those happiness, laughters and smiles, it came by only for awhile and then went away leaving us in darkness. It brought me to tears when thinking of those times when everything used to be so perfect and complete. I was hoping that everything might last longer this time but fate has proved me wrong. Everything went down the drain when it was the time where i badly need it all the most. Everything was so complete when families used to be so close and clinged together, when friends used to be all equal and being there for one another despite all the quarrels and when you used to be there with me throughout every single nightmares and fantasies. Now, everything changed. It all changed out of expectation. Yes, this is what you call life, ups and downs. But sadly, i still can't get the hang of all these. I still can't. Infact, i'm still trying to hide all the shits and pain that i'd feel i shan't trouble anyone with. I have got so many words and feelings that i can't express it verbally just like that. Everytime i would want to, i simply can't. Why does everything have to be temporary? Why can't happiness last? And why can't people stay?

There will be no more daily texts from you like you always did.
There will be no more midnight calls from you like you used to eventhough you were tired.
There will be no more warm hugs from you like you used to embrace me with everytime we met.
There will be no more smiles, laugthers and jokes that you used to make up with just to cheer me up.
There will be no more pictures and photos from you like how we used to bluetooth and exchange together.
There will be no more birthday wishes from you like how you used to wish me exactly on midnight with a kiss.
There will be no more shoulders to cry whenever i need someone the most and to lean on whenever im sleepy in the bus.
There will be no more care and concern from you like how you used to pour me with advices when im need of a guidance.
There will be no more craps and shits like how we used to do at late midnights till you're sleepy that you were blabbering.
There will be no more everything that we used to do together and no one could ever replace them all.
I miss it all and i miss you. 

I know that i'm still in this dilemma. I tried moving on, but why can't i still? I apologised as i know you might have moved on. So let me just keep all these pains and fears within myself. I understand why you had to go but i'm still asking myself why did you had to go? Why the temporary-ness? I could never treat you as someone bad in my life when sometimes i tried to. I can't still stop thinking why must all these happen now. Why? Can i have all the answers soon? I have to still keep on pretending as that's how my life has been playing towards you for your own good. Worry about me no more as i'm just simply a friend now. I know you're still facing tons of problems and that you seemed lost. Keep trying and step forward alright? I'll forever pray for you, dear friend. : '(
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Learning to fall.
3:00 PM


There's only hate, there's only tears
There's only pain, there is no love here
So what will you do?

There's only lies, there's only fears
There's only pain, there is no love here
So what will you do?
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Gone.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 8:20 PM




It's been sometime that I lost my other half,
the day my road ended and I was drawn another path.
Till this day I'm confused why you had to go,
why your days had to be cut short and why
things happen for a reason.
I guess I'll never know.
The hardest thing for me to do is try to get you outta my head,
because I constantly think about the last
time I saw you and the very last thing you said.
No one will ever compare to you,
no one will ever do the things you do.
No longer do I feel complete,
I have no chance of beating defeat.
Because my spirits are low and my heart is dim.
My sorrows have grew greedy while my courage has grown slim.
As of this moment of confusion and depression is all I've gotten,
you may be gone but you're never forgotten.

And to Mr.A,


I felt sorry, and I have felt bad about what happened.
I know you've got your problems and so do i.
But just so you know, never mistook me.
I don't wanna rush things either.
Friends will still be the best?
</3
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Too much.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010 10:28 PM

Outing on the 230110' ;


Im dread. Not delaying, above was supposed to be an outing for the six of us "actually"? But then it turned out to be only the four of us since the other two couldn't make it. Hmmm. Thought of replacing Dydy, but last minute update was that he couldn't make it. Awwww. The day was much sucky or dull i could say? But overall it was good with the stupid lame-ass jokes of one another. Yearning for Esplanade, but went to eat at LJS first since i was famished. Walkedwalked and camwhored and then off to Vivo City as Qin wanted to check out the popular store and Sepet had to go off to Sentosa with his friends. Being with the girls was rather awesome too. Hopefully we'll have a better well-planned outing soon "perfectly".

Lonely am I

Lonely are the nights
Lonely are the days
Lonely am I, in so many ways
Lonely are the seasons
Lonely are the years
So lonely am I, that it brings tears.


Lonely is this place
Lonely is my life
Lonely am I, that I reach for a knife
Lonely is this court room
Lonely is my sentence
So lonely am I that I ask for repentance.
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Halfway.
Monday, January 25, 2010 10:37 PM


“And she finally stopped playing their song,
when she realized she was dancing alone.”
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One Last.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010 8:57 PM




  • School was bored.
  • Went out with mom & aunt.
  • Still yet to finish eng & phy assignment.

    ~

    Im feeling rather distant.
    Im in a world I do not like.
    Doubting people around me.
    Feeling tiered all of the time.
    No energy to do things.
    Just letting things pass by.
    A feeling of unwanted ness.
    I just want to cry.
    Lock my self in a dark room.
    Let the day and night pass by.
    Let the world forget me.
    Why I fade and die.




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