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Left with memories.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009 11:20 PM I do, badly. I guessed you've read or are reading my posts nowadays ? When you asked me, i'm sorry i had to lie. I know you know that i ain't any better. I pretended, yes i did. True, blogs are meant to be read. But after knowing that you've knew since while, i'd feel guilty. Really do. It's not because i really wanted to lie or hide. I just don't wanna trouble or be an additional problem you've got to think of. I really don't want to bother you anymore cause' i know you've had enough. I'm just a friend now and i'll do my part. Even when times i had to shed tears as it is so unbearable, i will still try for the sake of you. I just want you to be happy, i just want to see your smiles. But i don't know if i could be a stronger person each day. I'm always reminded of the old days and i swear it ain't any easy as people could think. Do you really want me to forget you ? Do you really want me to forget the old times we used to go through together ? I know i couldn't get the hang of this. So please don't ask me again whether i'm fine or not as i know i'm gonna be totally speechless to that question. I don't know if i should smile or cry, laugh or frown. I feel so empty now. Things are changing and situations are getting complicated. And, people are coming and leaving us. I'm tired, i'm giving up. I just hate the fact to try to be someone strong whereas i have to lie and when i'm actually not. I tried but i failed. I'm sorry that i can't be as strong as you are. All i can do is just to pretend, pretend and pretend. I shall just hide my dreams and my hopes with me, incase i need them again someday. I still remember the songs you sang and those times we had by the beach. Do you ? Getting to know you is really nice. Thanks for those times you made me laugh and made me forget my worst nightmares for sometime. But nevertheless, i don't know if i could be the best for you as i've still got my histories and i'm still not over it yet. You're really a great friend, an awesome one. I'm sorry when times i were making excuses to you as i had to. I'm just not ready any moment yet. I'd hope we could be friends first okay ? I'm asking myself, am i giving you hopes ? Cause' i could see those through you. But whatever it is, ohh no, not now. I'm just too sad, upset, down. That' all i could ever say at this moment. :'( |
