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My days are dull without you.
Saturday, October 24, 2009 2:55 PM



This loneliness, this boredom, this fear. Its all clinging onto me. My days are getting darker, thinking if there's still tomorrow. Im just too afraid of so many things now. I couldn't get hold of myself. I don't know who i am now. Why do i have to be like this ? I've got no means to hurt anyone, not even you bestestfriend. Its not that i do not want to share things with you, but its just aint the right time now. I've just gotta keep these things to myself now. Let me hold onto all these myself. I have to learn to be independent right ? Like what you once said. Im still wondering if i could still stay strong and be the same old me. If possible, i just want everything to be like before. But i know there aint any hopes. I'd just feel like giving up right now. But i know that i've started this game, so i should end this game too. Is everything gonna end so soon ? Is all happiness are meant to be shattered within the shadows ? Only God knows how much i feel now. How much i needed you. I know i can't lose hope right now. I know ive gotta fight for the best. Is it getting better ? Or is it just getting worst ? Just so you know, im staying strong cause' of you. How much you really means to me, how much it all worth. It aint easy, i admit. But we're gonna go through every shit together right ? Honestly, im just so afraid. Thinking of it day and night, made me tear of how much more are we supposed to go through. I know you're too busy now, and i made up my mind not to bother you no matter how much i need you now. No matter how much i miss you. It hurts, it aches. But i'd believed its parts and parcels of life too. There's a saying that goes, problems will make us a better and a stronger person. I just aint sure with that quote right now. I don't get whether im more stronger now, or am i just getting weaker ? As days passed, i guess things are getting apart ? Im sure, im confident that we can end every shit together. God, strenghten this heart. Lighten our path, please.
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