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There's not a need.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010 9:59 PM  I don't know whether am i happy or am i sad. Everything just seemed so upsetting for me. Haven't i gotten over all histories? Am i still in dilemma with all that's happening within my surroundings? Why am i still in darkness whereas i should've been out there laughing my ass out with those awesome people? I just don't get myself. The atmoshphere changed and so do people too. Hmms. Sometimes i just tend to wonder what's the wisdom behind all these? I know i've to move on and to still stand strong on both feets despite all that's happening now. I'm trying to accept all of these factual realities. Where was i? Where did the old me went to? It was sucha drastic change for me. Everything was. I just need peace, period. It was a sudden, or perhaps not. You went now, or maybe forever that you might dislike me? Those times we used to call up each other and had great laughters non-stop, it all kept rewinding through my mind. Before, it was you that seemed to really get interested but i wasn't as i'm just hooked up with complications within myself. Now, it seemed to be me when you isn't anymore. I don't blame you for all. I would understand if you felt neglected or perhaps think that i'm with someone through my reactions. Like i've repeated times, i'm sorry. I know that sorry heals nothing. But that's the least i could do. I'm aware that you're having tons of problems perhaps? Stay strong and i believe that you'll still be the cheerful and crazy you. You seemed rather cold towards me now, i guess. Live your life to the fullest and i won't disturb you if you don't want to okay? I understand your situation now. I've let you off from my mind and my soul too? Things just don't seemed to work in any way. It's not that i wanna jump to conclusions. Just that i felt we won't go any further anymore with this condition infact. You takecare alright? I'll always remember how our friendship started on and those days you swept my darkness away with your care and concern, and your jokes that'll always make me smile. I just didn't realise everything before as i was so stucked. Stucked with alot of confusions. Now that i'm aware, it's a little too late. Thank you for those times, Ammar. We went on our separate ways now. We were just not as before anymore. The bond is obviously ain't there anymore among us. We tend to be rather suspicious and hypocrites behind each other's back instead? Where was the trust and bonded communications we used to have? It all came to a conclusion that we'll never be as close together anymore like before, and there seemed no hope in building the bond again when each have already chosen their own decision to how they want it all to be. Four fucking years now that we've been together and it has already starting to loosen into two different cliques. Never was i or any of you wanted this right? I guess it's already fate. No point in trying to talk things out when the whole thing will just revolve round and round again. If this is how things are meant to be, i'll just accept it eventhough it's hard. For four fucking years, i just can't forget it all. Some of you might think i'm just being rather selfish or unfair perhaps. I never want it too. I've never asked for it even. If you guys tend to walk on your own pathways, i am no one to stop. I don't know till which extend will this friendship bring us to. But i'm still hoping for the best. May fate brings us long, i hope. I just miss us, very badly. ZKAQNF ; Why is everything about you still playing within my mind and my soul? I just need perseverance and faith to get over you soon. I believe i can. |
